Stressed

  So the last week or so I have been so stressed about finding a new house. And really there is not much out there. I still have an application in for a house that they are just dragging along. But finally we have made a new plan, after almost losing my mind. We are going to go ahead and do a month to month and clean out the house we are in now, which means get rid of all the junk and crap thats in our house that we don't need, and we have lots. So I have set a date on having a garage sale on august 20th and whatever I don't sell we'll give it away or throw it in the dumpster we will rent, depending on how much crap we have left. We need to do this anyway before we move so lets get started, then I will make the garage into a play room again. So I am excited to just get rid of stuff and try to start over new in the place we live now, until we hopefully find a place we are happy with. It took me a minute but I feel so much better having a plan. And watch once I stop stressing something will come, I hope. Plus I really need to concentrate on camping thats coming up, and getting the kids ready for school to start. And soccer and cheer start august 1st also. So I'm done with the worrying on the house (for now) time to concentrate on the upcoming crazy schedule!

Life is about to get crazy!

  Well its about to be August and I am really not looking forward to all the craziness of schedules to begin again. Summer is going to fly by quickly now. Cheer is about to start for Nenn, Soccer is about to start for Ky, camping, then we need to get ready for school, like clothes shopping, school supply shopping, shoes, haircuts, backpacks, and the worries of going back to school (Ky has a rough time with that every year) Then to top it off we are trying to move :// Then before we know it school will be starting, then dance will start too. Oh and JJ's new preschool starts in September also, and of course my Nenn will be turning 8, which means its about time to start planning a birthday party. Holy moly it stresses me out just thinking about it! But you know what? We get through it every year. And its part of being a Mommy. Just the extra moving is what really freaks me out. I'm trying to make the right decisions. Of what area to live in? Are we going to be able to keep the kids at the schools we want? And if not we need a back up plan. Really its a big life decision of where were going to live. And then all the packing and moving...blah! But I do love that we can start all over again and get rid of all the extra crap that we don't need in our home (Ky is begging me to have a garage sale.) 


So I just need to breath and take one day at a time. And enjoy the rest of the summer, while looking for a place to move.

 And it looks like I will not be watching my full time baby starting around September, so I would love to find a new full time baby to watch. I will miss her :( So if anyone needs a babysitter mon-fri starting in September (by then everything will be in order and kids will be in school and Jay will be in school 3 days a week), I would love to be the one.

Today~

Today started off fun! First we woke up a little to early, but had a nice time in Tracy, for the Hubby's work breakfast. He has these every 3 months and gets a bonus and they have fun raffles. It was nice because the Hubby got a safe driver award and a customer service award and got Starbucks gift card. Then Nenn won a huge container of licorice, she was very happy. Then after we decided to surprise the kids and take them to Boomers, they were so happy! We played miniature golf, rode on some tube like boats and squirted eachother with water. Too bad it wasn't warmer outside. Oh and can't forget the arcade games. On the way home we stopped at In and Out...yummy! Then my Dad stopped by for a minute. So we had a really nice family day.

Now I am home stressed! Yesterday we got our lease renewal and they raised our rent $100. Not very happy about this at all! I feel like we can find a place for that much and have another bathroom and some a/c at least. So now I am in a horrible mood, searching for a new place to live. And really I have found nothing and don't know where else to look. This came out of nowhere, and did not expect this at all! So what to do? What to do? I am lost.

I am looking forward to my Nephew's Baptism tomorrow, followed by a bbq/pool party. Hopefully I can get this moving crap off my mind, its making me nuts!

Summer fun

Okay so I am done with the deep stuff, for now. I had to get it off my chest.

So I feel these last 2 months have been so much fun. This is probably the best summer vacation we have had yet so far. We have done so many fun things, but I think the best thing we could've done was bought the pool, too bad it hasn't been very warm to go into in the last week. We have been to Reno, Stinson Beach, Tilden Park, we did the Kids Bowl Free summer program, and I'm trying to go to the Farmers Market every tuesday, we went to the Drive Ins, The Jungle, been to a couple movies and we had a fun 4th of July party. And we are not done yet. I'm always trying to find something to do to keep the kids busy. Soon we'll be starting the $1 movies on wednesdays. The problem is when I don't have anything planned, my kids are bored and drive me crazy, but it is impossible to do something every day. Yes when their home they do crafts, write stories and books, draw, I make them play in the backyard, they play video games and watch some tv, but today after 2 days of not doing much (too cold to swim) but being home I had to take them to the park, thanks to a friends idea. So we took all the kids for a walk and to play and it turned out nice. They got their energy out.

 I'm always looking for fun cheap things to do. Can't wait to see what else this summer brings us. A camping trip is coming up in August, can't wait for that!

Panic Attacks

So I have been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks for about 8 years. So since 2003. It was very tough when they first started I remember I got my first really bad panic attack at the movies, The Hubby and I were watching Lord of the Rings. I got stuck and frozen with anxiety almost like I couldn't snap out of it, hearts beating out of my chest, my thoughts were running wild!  It was horrible. Didn't go to the movies again, and after that day at the movies I was to the point of not being able to leave my house, I would have a panic attack almost every night before bed, which made me afraid to sleep, I couldn't look in the mirror and was afraid to take a shower. Probably the most difficult time of my life. I talked to therapists which I truly believe helped alot. They all wanted me on medication, but the problem is, that is another fear of mine, taking medication. Nenn was a baby. I feel terrible because I barely remember taking care of Nenn because my anxiety took over everything. Thank goodness for The Hubby, he was and is the best. He always knows how to calm me down and as hard as it was he always understood me and was there for me no matter how crazy I was and am :)

Because of these panic attacks I had stopped drinking caffeine and stayed away from sugar (therapists suggested.) I refused to go to the movies, I do not take cold medicines or anything that I think will make me feel different, and I do not drink. Its also difficult because I am afraid to put myself in situations that I think I will not be able to get out of. Even helping out in the kids classes I was afraid of, and commiting to things, because what if I have a panic attack?

Now I feel I have some control of my panic attacks, and I did it without medication. I haven't had one in a couple months, I do still have anxiety. I feel good though, I am drinking some caffeine and need my chocolate, still will not take any medications except tylenol for a headache. And just this year I have been going to the movies again. Those may seem like little things, but they are big steps for me. Might have to actually get on an airplane soon, and if I can do that omg, that would be a miracle. I think I can do it.

So yeah Anxiety sucks!

Something Special

So I have 3 beautiful children~But my girls have something special about them. My oldest daughter was born with UMA (Unilateral Microtia and Atresia) basicly that means one ear is little (looks like a peanut) with no ear canal. So she has moderate-severe hearing loss in her right ear. She is perfectly normal, great speech and all. We were pretty surprised when she was born, but knew all would be fine. Audiologists nowadays suggest a hearing aid but Ky wants nothing to do with it, which is fine, but back in 2001 they did not. Doctors said that there was a 1-2% chance we would have another child with Microtia. And still we had no idea why she was born with a "special" ear.

Next in 2003 my second daughter was born, we were VERY surprised to see our daughter was also born with Microtia, this time it was BMA (Bilateral Microtia Atresia) basicly the same thing but in both ears. We teared up for a second and then realized we can do this and all is going to be fine. She has been wearing a hearing aid since she was 3 months old but it was worn like a headband, which is why her speech never really fell behind. She has moderate-severe hearing loss in both ears without her h/a. She hears normally with it, but has trouble hearing in loud places. Now she wears a BAHA (Bone Anchored Hearing Aid) She had 2 surgeries that makes the h/a atatch to her head by an anchor like screw that was put in to the bone of her head and then the h/a box snaps into it, about 2 years ago and is doing great with it. I remember when she first got to wear her BAHA attatched to her head she told me she could hear her brother breathing next to her (that was an amazing moment) After I had her doctors said it would be a 50% chance my next child will have Microtia.

Then I got pregnant with my son. Totally expecting it to happen again, my son was born without Microtia. Very interesting.

My girls are great and are totally okay with their ears, which is what I have been trying to teach them all their lives. I put their hair up and do not hide their ears, and give them an exrtra kiss on their special ears. Nenn is very proud of her hearing aid, and is not afraid to talk about it. I have prepared them for questions, because people will ask and stare even adults. Most people who have microtia have surgery to fix their ears, but in our case I want them to feel comfortable with their differences. I am leaving it to the girls to make that decision when they are older. As of right now they are completely okay with their ears. And I hope it stays that way, because they are beautiful just the way they are. I am teaching them everyone is different, and its okay to be different. I am so proud of my girls :)

About us

Hi I am a stay at home mother of 3, I also take care of a 8 month old during the week days and my nephew an 18 month old during the evenings. I love all these kids! I have been married for 8 years, together for 11 years. I have 3 beautiful children, my oldest is Ky, (I will use nicknames) she is 10 yrs old, she is very smart, beautiful, funny and loves to be in charge. Nenn is 7, she is beautiful, sweet and very motherly and a little cuddle bug, and my last but not least is Jay he is 3, he is my crazy, fun, hilarious little boy who keeps me on my toes. I love my crazy little family! I am doing this blog to share all the ups, downs, and things I find interesting in our life which I love to share.