Guilt

  Been feeling crappy lately. Unsure of myself and things. Can't quite figure out exactly why just been stuck in a funk. And wish I could snap out of it. Its crazy we've been so busy but when I'm not doing something I feel like I should be. Today I was actually able to relax at home for about 2-3 hours, my brother was gone, my mom was gone (they are staying with us right now), the hubby got home early from work but had to go to sleep for his later job and Jay had an early nap and girls were at school. There were things I could have left the house and done but I decided to do it all tomorrow. So I actually sat home and watched tv for like 2 hours during the day. I did clean the bathrooms, dishes, swept, vacuumed and made some mac salad before or else I would not have been able to sit there with out thinking about the house being a mess. It was very strange and I feel guilty relaxing but it was nice. Its not fair to feel this way. I also think being at home today didn't help my feeling crappy, almost like a depressed feeling. Oh well that was today and I'm sure tomorrow will be different. Because I'm crazy like that :)